Who the fuck do you think you are?! That was a rhetorical question so don’t even bother answering. I’ll tell you who you are; you are a guy who thinks he is too cool for school. Well I got news for you Walter Cronkite…you’re not. That’s right I said it! I know for a fact you have hundreds of letters floating around in your head just itching to get out and put people in their respective places.
"Oh look at me, I’m DTS and I am just so effing busy, blah blah blah. I couldn’t possibly spare one second to type in takeaneffingletter.blogspot.com into my interweb browser and effing write a goddamn letter!"
That was you. Ok so I know you are technologically challenged but last time I checked you were moving past that. I have seen you utilize at least 4 television channels at the same time, you have a cellular telephone (I still can’t believe you sold out like that), and you now have your very own personal computer. All the pieces are there just pull the trigger. Also I think you should be aware that holding in letters when they should be written can damage the prostate gland, making it very difficult to get an erection, or even become aroused!
Final thought for you friend, as a concerned citizen it pains me to see a fellow concerned citizen such as yourself, not sharing your concerns with the citizens of the world. The People need these letters to shine light upon the dark, shine your light good sir, SHINE!
With Love,
The Dentist
A Concerned Citizen
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
We, the readers, would like you to consider that it's a bit rude to leave us in the lurch like this. Might I suggest that you draft a letter with an easy target that will surely spark the creative juices? Suggested topics include, but are not limited to: Miley Cyrus and/or the JoBros, the guy at Starbucks who asks for his coffee to be a specific temperature, the grocery store check-out person who always feels the need to comment on your items, the town of Billerica. I'm sure that this list will be scoffed at, since I am a mere amateur when it comes to writing angry letters, but please, for the love of [insert major deity here], don't leave us hanging.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Dear Take an Effing Letter,
ReplyDeleteCould you please step up the entries for this blog? As noted there are thousands of possible topics that could be commented on with your unique brand of writing style which gets to the heart of what is on everyone's mind. And how am I supposed to look busy at work if there are no topics for which i can stare at my computer screen intently looking like I am trying to figure out an extremely difficult problem? We need to remedy this immediately. Please your loyal fans are waiting.....