Dear Skechers

You are fucking fired. Who do you think you are with that 'ehh I'm casual but still kind of dressy' bullshit? Make up your fucking mind. Are you trying to be dressy or are you trying to be casual? Most cannot be both, and you certainly fall under that category. Look at you with your bullshit commercials boasting 4 losers, sitting around a table, and then a girl comes up and checks out your stupid shoes.. Who ever got laid wearing Skechers? NO ONE! That's who, FUCKING NO ONE. Your commercials are houses of lies. I bet that girl was either forced into saying she liked your stupid shoes or was just confused. And, please don't get me started on the types of dudebro's that wear your shoes, that is another discussion for another day. Just do everyone a favor and go out of business. Stop producing your stupid shoes so that the majority of the population doesn't have to look at them and think how fucking ridiculous they are. To any of my friends who own or have previously owned a pair of these mockeries, I'm sure you have learned your lesson by now, and we forgive you. Just please, do not make the same mistake again. We know you won't. Skechers, you are fired. And you are welcome for me being so mature and professional about his whole situation.

Good day stupid shoes.

A concerned citizen
Brit. Sups. Out.